Remember that Playground Bully? Victim 1
believed the bully and became upset. Victim 2 challenged back and the
bully eventually loses his power and gives up. Victim 3 was quite
different. He didn't react at all. He merely acknowledged the bully,
then turned away and went off to play with his friends.
Defusing from our thoughts involves
acknowledging the thought as a thought, not reacting automatically, then choosing
to put our focus of attention elsewhere.
Thoughts can be described as 'passing streams
of words', or passing images or sensations, rather than the statements of fact
that we usually accept them to be. We can practice mindfulness techniques
so that we can learn to observe those words, images or sensations, rather than
engage with them, or buy into them.
Start with learning Mindful Breathing, and
practice often, several times a day, just for 3-5 minutes at a time. The
more you practice, the more effective it will be. You will be constantly
distracted by intrusive thoughts, sounds, images, sensations - but that's ok.
The only aim of mindfulness is to notice when your mind wanders, and repeatedly to
bring your attention back to your breathing, or perhaps to an activity you are
engaged in. Practice
the techniques on this page.
Earlier, we learned about noticing thoughts,
feelings and behaviours, and asking ourselves questions in order to help
challenge our thoughts.
STOP, take a breath, and ask yourself these
questions which will help you defuse or distance yourself from your thoughts:
What's happening right now? What
thoughts, feelings and sensations do I notice?
What am I reacting to? What meaning am I
giving this event? How is this affecting me?
What is the result of my believing this
thought?
What would be the effect of not believing
this thought?
Is this a thought, a feeling, or a
sensation?
Am I predicting what might happen in the
future?
Am I evaluating a situation? How
might I describe it instead?
