Changing what we normally do
can greatly affect they way we feel and think.
When you look at your '5
Aspects' sheet where you wrote down your thoughts, emotions, behaviours and
physical sensations, notice particularly what you wrote for 'behaviours'.
Very often we react automatically, without considering our actions or the
consequences of them.
What helped you cope and get through
it?
What didn’t I do or what did I avoid
doing?
What automatic reactions did I have?
What would other people have seen me
doing?
What were the consequences of what I
did? What happened later because of it? Did it affect the way I
felt later?
Now ask yourself, what could I
have done differently?
What would someone else have
done in that situation? (it might help to think about particular
people that you know, and what they might have done differently)
Have there been times in the
past when I would have done something else?
If I had paused, and taken a
breath, what would I have done?
Write down several options that
you might have done differently if it had occurred to you, then ask yourself:
If I had tried that, how
would the situation have been different?
How would it have affected
what I felt?
How would it have affected
what I thought?
Would it have been more
helpful or effective for me, another person or for the situation?
What would the consequences
have been of doing something differently?
Dealing with Distressing
Situations:
Practice and learn to STOP
and take a breath before considering what action to take. Just
simply pausing and taking a breath when feeling distressed can help us to see
the situation more clearly, and help us decide what action to take.
Choose to do what works!
When
considering your options, ask yourself:
Will it
be effective and appropriate?
Is it in
proportion to the event?
Is it in
keeping with my values and principles?
What
will be the consequences of my action?
What is
best for me and most helpful for this situation?
Some suggestions for coping
with crises and distressing emotions:
Put on
some music - sing and dance along, or just listen attentively (use music
that is likely to help you feel your desired emotion (no sad songs if you're
depressed)
Grounding techniques - look around you, what do you see, hear, smell, sense?
Hold a comforting object.
Physical
exercise - walk, swim, go to the gym, cycle
Engage
in a hobby or other interest - if you don't have one, find one! What
have you enjoyed in the past? What have you sometimes thought
about doing but not got around to?
Write
down your thoughts and feelings - get them out of your head
Just
take one step at a time - don't plan too far ahead
Pamper
yourself - do something you really enjoy, or do something relaxing
Positive
self-talk - encourage yourself, tell yourself: I can do this, I am
strong and capable - find an affirmation that works for you (even if you don't
believe it at first!). Write it down and memorise it for when you need
it. See Affirmations
Do
something creative - make a box of items that remind you to use the
techniques that help, or put photos on paper, or write and decorate a
list
Tell
yourself: "This will pass, it's only temporary". "I've got through
this before, I can do it now". When we're going through a tunnel and
become fearful of being trapped, there's no point in stopping - we just have
to carry on in order to reach the end of the tunnel. That light is
there, and waiting!
Activity & Physical Exercise
Makes us feel better
Makes us feel less tired
Motivates us to do more
Improves our ability to
think more clearly
Uses up the adrenaline
resources created by anxiety and anger
Increases motivation
Makes us generally more
healthy
When we're depressed, we can
feel particularly tired and lack any motivation to do anything. Just
increasing our activity and exercise levels can make an enormous impact on our
mood as it stimulates the body to produce natural anti-depressants.
Breathing and Relaxation helps to
combat the body's adrenaline fight & flight
response
that occurs in Anxiety and Anger, and the agitation and ruminating thoughts of
Depression. Try different relaxation techniques - some will work better
for you than others.
and learn to STOP
and take a breath before considering what action to take. Just
simply pausing and taking a breath when feeling distressed can help us to see
the situation more clearly, and help us decide what action to take.
about doing but not got around to?
response
that occurs in Anxiety and Anger, and the agitation and ruminating thoughts of
Depression. Try different relaxation techniques - some will work better
for you than others. 
